Steppin’ Out

This is going to be purely opinionated, so I am apologizing ahead of time for anything that may offend you.

John F. Kennedy. Bill Clinton. South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford. Tiger Woods?

So, yeah, I guess you could say that politicians have a bad rep for stepping out on their wives, but when an upstanding gentleman such as Tiger Woods gets out of line, you have to wonder, "What is going on?"

I sit at home watching the news on TV and I see all of these powerful and influential men cheating on their wives and tarnishing their reputations. Then I look at my wife and I think to myself, "Is there any way some bimbo could successfully pull me away from her?"

Well, mostly if I let it happen. But see here's the thing, that bimbo's success could be fueled by my wife's failure to make me feel secure in our relationship.

I saw an episode of WifeSwap (I'm still not quite sure how I feel about that show) a while ago. In the episode, a wife, who was also a mother, pulled herself away from her husband and her kids to play a video game on her computer. She would literally spend all day and all night playing this game and ignoring her family.

The husband tried to keep a well of emotions from swelling when he revisited the times when she actually spent time with the family. That was all they really wanted of her.

So what happened? The husband got pulled by a bimbo. You don't have to leave home to cheat on somebody.

I don't know if women realize it, but it's possible to cheat on a man, not necessarily with another man, but with your career, your kids, your friends, your family, your fantasies, pretty much anything that takes you away from your husband mentally, emotionally, and even physically.

I realize that I'm not a marriage counselor, but I would bet any amount of money that Elin pulled away from Tiger in some type of way.

Now, understand, I'm not at all defending Tiger & Co. because they still shouldn't have done what they did. However, I don't think that women should be letting themselves off of the hook.

You don't have to enter someone's body, or let them enter yours to cheat. The moment you seek another source for something your spouse was mandated and has agreed to supply you, you're stepping out.

Maybe it's just me, but there definitely seems like a double standard here because everyone's ready to jump men when they sleep around, but the women who abandon them get off scotch free.

As for the fellas, don't desire unrealistic expectations of the woman you love. Many already feel inferior thanks to the images the media feeds them daily about how they should look and act.

We are supposed to be gentle and understanding with the wives of our youth, not holding auditions in our homes. If our wives wanted to be Penthouse girls, they probably wouldn't have married us. If any of them did, it wouldn't be long for any of us to realize that's not what we want. Do we really want them to stoop to that level?

Now, as a man, I am visual and I don't have an issue with wives seductively displaying themselves to their husbands. But as guys, we have to make the decision to abandon any other picturesque beauty other than our wives. We need to be satisfied with what we have because we're blessed in more ways than one (even though we may seem cursed, sometimes).

Threats to oneness lurk around at every corner. The enemy is waiting for us to crack open doors so that he can try to get a foot in. If he can get a foot in, he'll try to get a leg in. Before you know it, he'll be cleaning out your refrigerator, literally.

Let's make sure he's the one stepping out and not us.

Represent That

I know exactly what you are doing, when people are watching you and when they're not. And although you aren't against me, you're not really for me either. You're in the middle. You're wishy-washy and I can't really tell if you love me. I wish you were on fire for me so that your fervor would become contagious. I would even be OK if you weren't on fire for me. I would at least be able to convince you otherwise. So, because you're neither, I don't really want to have anything to do with you. You have your riches and now you don't think you need me, but you don't even realize how you need me now more than ever. I wish you would let me give you real treasure, and let me cover your shame, and let me show you the truth. I'm only telling you this because I love you. I always call and you never answer. I will keep calling until you answer. If you let me in, we could be together for eternity. But it's totally up to you.

Although that's not a direct quote, that pretty much sums up what Jesus said to the church of the Laodiceans in Revelation 3:14-22. What is the church of the Laodiceans? Glad you asked.

Laodicea was an ancient metropolis that resided in the village of Eski Hissar which is in Turkey. During the days of the early church, it was one of the seven seats of Christianity. But as the young people say, they fell off. Way off. This is evident in the reprimand that Jesus gave them in Revelation. He had nothing good to say about them, at all.

If you have read Revelation, you will see that towards the beginning of the book, Jesus addresses the seven churches of Asia Minor, the church of the Laodiceans being one of them. Jesus had at least one good thing to say about each of them, except the Laodicean church.

To some biblical scholars, the seven churches mentioned in Revelation symbolize seven church ages from the beginning of Christianity to the rapture of the Church. We are presently in the church age that some believe was symbolized by the Laodicean church, the church that will see the Rapture.

This would mean that if you considered yourself to be a part of the Church, the Ecclesia, the Body of Christ, Christ's bride, he's not very satisfied with us at the moment. It would break my heart if my wife said to me what Christ said to the Laodicean church. But that's only because I love her. If I didn't love her, I wouldn't care one way or another. So would you say that you love Christ? If you did, wouldn't you try to do better? I know that I would.

If you read the passage from Revelation 3:14, you will see that in a nutshell, Jesus is criticizing us, the Church, for turning away from him. Some of you may be saying that you haven't turned away from him, and glory to be to God if you can honestly say that. But what about your brother or sister in Christ? Have they turned away? Have you corrected them in love? If one of us is falling, we are all falling and coming short of the glory. We are our brother's (and sister's) keeper.

If you consider yourself to be the epitome of everything a Christian should be, that's nice. However, reality holds that it's really not like that for any of us. Because we live with that imperfection working against us, we already have our work cut out as far as trying to reel in non-believers. Why make that worse by not monitoring yourself around those who make be weaker Christians or not Christians at all?

You may not realize this, but as Christians, we are under constant scrutiny from those who wish not to accept the truth that the Lord has given us. We are walking Bibles to those who may not ever pick up one. We are little Gs for those who cannot stand in the presence of the Lord. We are ambassadors to the Kingdom of Heaven.

Ask yourself this, "If God was a president, and I was his ambassador to, say, the United States, would he be able to say I represent his nation well?" I'm pretty sure that if Obama needed to send an ambassador to Iran, he wouldn't pick some trash-talking, racist redneck who inhales beer and refers to every person of Middle Eastern decent as A-Rabs. That's real.

John 15:8 NIV says "This is to my Father's glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples." It is important that we rep God to the fullest.

That's the whole point to our existence. Shocking, right? That's the real reason why so many fall into deep depression. They do everything they can to resist the true purpose of their existence. They have sex with whoever they want to. They go through drugs like a Walgreens. They chase Bentleys and diamonds and mansions. Then they curse God to his face when they realize how unhappy and unsatisfying their lives are. But those who seek the will of God find that their lives are very fulfilling.

"Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is--his good, pleasing and perfect will." Romans 12:2 NIV

It's simple. We just need make sure that we are representing our King in a way that will make others fall in love with him. God isn't going to seem so appealing if we make our spiritual walks look like hoaxes. Keep it real.

J Dys

DYN-O-MIGHT!!!

This is a difficult one here. I wanna apologize to those who have been following this blog. Quite a bit has been going on in my life. I had to quiet down a bit to let the Lord talk to me and now I wanna share some of what he's been saying…

This may be a bit of a stretch here but be patient with me.

I'm an old person in a young person's body. So there's no surprise that I enjoy watching "Good Times." I especially enjoy singing the "Good Times" theme song Dave Chappelle style. For those familiar with the show, you will know who I'm talking about when I refer to "Kid Dynamite." Those who don't, you may want to Tivo TV Land sometime soon.

So "Kid Dynamite" is J.J.'s alter ego and seems to rise up whenever his head gets bigger, if that's even possible.

You may be asking yourself, "Where exactly is he going with this?" I promise you I'm going somewhere. Follow me.

We have a problem in the body concerning our bodies. I repeat, WE have a PROBLEM in the BODY concerning our BODIES. I may have lost some of you already so pick up your compasses and turn to 1st Corinthians 6:12-20 KJV.

12 All things are lawful unto me, but all things are not expedient: all things are lawful for me, but I will not be brought under the power of any. 13 Meats for the belly, and the belly for meats: but God shall destroy both it and them. Now the body is not for fornication, but for the Lord; and the Lord for the body. 14 And God hath both raised up the Lord, and will also raise up us by his own power. 15 Know ye not that your bodies are the members of Christ? shall I then take the members of Christ, and make them the members of an harlot? God forbid. 16 What? know ye not that he which is joined to an harlot is one body? for two, saith he, shall be one flesh. 17 But he that is joined unto the Lord is one spirit. 18 Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body. 19 What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own? 20 For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God's.

I got some news for you single folks out there who are saved: You're wedded. When you called on the Lord to be your Savior and you prayed the prayer of a sinner, you were basically accepting Jesus' marriage proposal. I guarantee you, you'll have a happily every after with him.

To be totally frank, we are not behaving the way that a virtuous bride should. OK, well, I'll speak for myself because I can't speak for everyone else.

From a very young age, I showed signs of a healthy heterosexual male. I was very much into girls. I didn't know why, but it just came naturally for me. Then a little thing called puberty turned my world upside down. Hormones were sending my brain signals that my body responded to and I had no idea what was going on. All I knew was that I was going to have to find what business birds had with bees.

Needless to say, I still don't have a clue as to why birds have been tagged alongside bees, but I have a much better grasp on how I function biologically. I'm a male. That pretty much explains the bulk of it.

I mean it seems harmless when it's stated that way, but there is something more serious that lurks under the surface. As Christians we are always told to kill off the natural man because the natural man doesn't want to follow the Lord. The problem is that a lot of us live too comfortably with the natural man and will not kill him dead, as some like to say.

I was under the impression that others, females to be exact, were the blame for the making the natural man come out of me. Then I had to reexamine and realize I was the blame.

As an artist, I am naturally visual. A lot of what I interpret about the world comes from my ocular senses. Factor in my maleness and what you get is someone with a full blown lust problem. I guess it would have been safe to say that I didn't kill the natural man dead.

You can downplay lust as much as you want to, but I am going to say it is an issue, especially in the body of Christ. So even if you are not the one doing it, you are your brother's (and sister's) keeper.

I basically define lust as desiring that which does not belong to you, including people. When you lust after someone, you basically cop feels with your eyes, nearly putting your brand on them as if you can claim them. That one was mainly for the fellas because you all know how it goes (and you do). Not saying that females don't do this as well, but it seems to plague guys more. Hope I'm not stepping on anyone's toes and if I am, well, I'm not apologizing.

Essentially what I am saying is that if you accepted Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior, and you consider yourself to be the Church aka the Bride of Christ aka the BODY, don't defile your temple, your body, or the temple of your brother or sister in Christ, by committing fornication mentally or physically especially with harlots aka the World aka Satan's kids. And if you want to date your brother or sister in Christ, well, that's another blog, but if you so chose, treat them like they are your brother and sister (and they are).

The bottom line is that you and your spiritual siblings are property of the Lord and the Lord want us to remain pure in his eyes. Don't do anything against your body and the Body. We are supposed to be moving as one unit. (Read 1st Corinthians 12:25-26) How can we move if we are ailed with our carnal desires?

A simple device that I use whenever I feel erotic thoughts begin to erupt about anyone other than the woman I was given is "T.N.T." (Take No Thought). This way, you can blow the enemy right out of your head. This takes practice and you may not always get it right, but the fact that you want to make a change is a big deal. Don't let the enemy discourage you. Use your (in J.J. Walker's voice) DY-NO-MIGHT and blow the enemy to smithereens.

Tonight's The Night?

Lately, I have been seeing young women with new hairdos and lined eyebrows and young fellas with fresh haircuts. So that probably means that it’s that time of the year again, prom season. For those of you who have experienced this instrumental part of adolescence, you can understand why this is such a big deal to high school students. And although I saw it as a glorified dance, which it is, it was still a pretty big deal to me, too.

It was my senior year and it was already understood who I was going with. She was excited about this day and she went through great lengths to purchase the only dress that she wanted to wear that evening which was delivered from New York. I handled the transportation and dinner plans; we were chauffeured in my uncle’s Jaguar and we shared our first sushi experience at the Drunken Fish restaurant at Westport.

Not to sound cliché but that night was magical for both of us. My date was absolutely radiant and I’m pretty sure our family members could see the sparks between us. So after the music was stopped and the mochi was cleaned off of our plate, we wound up back at her parents’ place. With both of us pooped from the day’s events, after five minutes in of watching the new Honeymooners movie, we passed out.

Now, some of you may be wondering why this girl’s parents let me spend the night at her house. To clear some of this up, I did spend the night, but we fell asleep on the couch in the family room with all of our clothing on (of course not in what we wore to prom). Also, my lovely date dropped me off at my place early the next morning. Almost a year later, my date and I got married. Nice.

Now, this is my path. I don’t expect for anyone else to do the same thing as I did. Having an understanding of my relationship with my date, her parents, my mother, and most importantly, my God, helped me to make decisions that night that wouldn’t make my life turn for the worst. Not that I’m so much better than everyone else, but others may not be able to practice as much self control.

Don’t act like you don’t know what I’m talking about. I think a lot of young people mistake prom night for “Give It Up” night. I am going to say this bluntly: If you consider yourself a child of God and you plan on attending your high school’s prom or someone else’s, don’t take this as an opportunity to shed your purity i.e. by having sex or doing things that lead to sex i.e. weed, alcohol, Xstasy, or foreplay (yes, foreplay).

I promise you, you are going to need the Holy Spirit to guide you along the way in preparation for this big night and during. Ask him who you should go with. Ask him what you all should do afterwards. Ask him what you should wear that night, preferably something which will not make your date wonder what you look like not wearing it. Ask him who should be in your entourage (sometimes your peers are the problem). Ask him what type of moves you should be doing (he’s not going to tell you to shake your rump).

Should you do these things, your night should run smooth like butter. Now, if the Lord told you not to go, then you probably shouldn’t. Let every man be a liar and God’s word be Truth. He is probably trying to protect you from something or someone. The thief cometh to steal, kill, and destroy. You think he’s going to clock out on the night of your prom? Please.

The bottom line here is to remain chaste on prom night, not just because God said so, but also because your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, you are an example to the world of how a human should conduct themselves, and you may be someone’s spouse someday and you owe it to them to hold on to your purity. So when you get dressed for your special night, don’t forget to put on the whole armor as well. That means not neglecting the part where you have to gird your loins (your genital area) with the belt of Truth.

How Do You Look Under Your Clothes?

There’s a television show named “The Millionaire Matchmaker” which airs on the Bravo Channel. The show follows Patti Stanger who is a famous matchmaker who hooks up millionaire men with women who will feed their fancy. Naturally, these men have a hard time finding women on their own because they fear that women only want them for their money. Understandable.

Thousands of women send in applications to be selected by Stanger for an opportunity to attend a mixer where the millionaire men (2 are always present) will ultimately pick who they want to go on a date with. Once the applicants are selected, they meet Stanger at her headquarters in Beverly Hills, CA where she and her team of matchmakers select who they think should attend the mixer.

Once the women have been selected, Stanger makes strong suggestions as to how those women should present themselves at the mixer in order to draw those millionaire men in their direction. Some take the advice and run with it. Others kind of blow it off and continue to do what hasn’t worked for them in the past. Usually, these women are very concerned about their appearance and they want to be as attractive as possible so that the men will notice them over all the other women.

At the mixer, Stanger introduces the men and looses them into the sea of bachelorettes. Some of the women make good impressions; others sort of leave a bad taste in the millionaires’ mouths. Naturally, the men gravitate towards the women who fit their profile of an attractive woman and sometimes Stanger points them in the direction of women who she thinks will fit their “type.”

At the end of the mixer, Stanger allows the men to select the girl that they want to date the most. The women who made good connections, who were sexy and sophisticated at the same time, who gave off good vibes, usually get picked. All of the other women essentially toiled in vain, polished themselves to look like these men’s fantasies, only to be rejected. Such a shame.

I believe that this same thing occurs in lives of many women, single women mostly, or simply women who wish to gain the attention of some man. They wash their body with Bath & Body Works™, they shampoo their hair with Herbal Essence™, they straighten their eyelashes with L’Oreal™ mascara, they cake on Bare Escentuals™, they fill out their lips with Maybelline™ lipstick, all because they want some cat to notice them. Cool.

Then I started to think about my love relationship with the Lord and how I can make myself more attractive to him. For those who wish to catch the Lord’s eye, the Bible is your Vogue™ Magazine and the models you should pay attention to are the people who despite their many flaws and imperfections, chased after his heart. Without condition, they glorified him despite their situation and they made his agenda their top priority.

I believe that many times we want to paint our lives and cover up the blemishes that the Lord would find unattractive. You can wear Prada boots, 30 carat diamonds, make an honest living, volunteer for community service, and go to church every Sunday of the year, but if you aren’t being fruitful in the Spirit, how attractive do you think you are going to be to the Lord underneath it all. You should ask yourself, “How good do I look to the Lord?” Under all of my clothes, under my job, under my degrees, under everything else that people hide behind because we think we can give the Lord the appearance of the bride that he desires, but not the whole thing.

How will you catch the Lord’s eye?

Love to Love Ya, Baby

First of all, this blog is months old and yet this is the first entry. A lot has been going on and I had to gain the perseverance to go ahead and get this started up. My goal is to submit one post at least once every two weeks or more if the Lord leads.

I am I going to keep it real, like the title suggests. For those of you who already know me, you know I can be brutally honest. My intentions are not to step on your toes if I do, but sometimes people need to dig the crud out of their eyes, not excluding me.

In this journey called life, I have come to some realizations through my faith and my growth as an individual. I feel like I owe it to everyone else to release that which I have gathered based on my experiences.

I do not intend to start off with a bio; that can come later. Right now, I want to talk about intimate relationships.

Intimate relationships are important to us as humans because we were created that way. We need to connect with others and feel like we are special to someone else. This is why pharmaceutical companies have been getting fat off of selling anti-depressants. People are depressed because something hinders them from connecting with others. Things such as anxiety, feelings of inadequacy, or dissatisfaction with the quality of life drive these individuals into this type of misery.

So we need to connect. I am connecting with you right now. We need to connect because I have a message for you about dating, one of the most popular venues for human connection.

To my single brothers and sisters in Christ:

I understand you all love the Lord, but you all also anticipate personally witnessing the gift of matrimony. I know this because I have seen it a lot recently. I was in your position, hoping to find my God-given spouse and consummate our marriage before Jesus decided to crack the sky. Even my little brother is going through this phase now (Don’t they grow up so quickly?).

Sex, in the correct context is good, but desire also drives us to make some unwise decisions. For instance, Fellas, you see some dimepiece at the mall with your boys. You automatically think to yourself, “What can I do to get with her?” Naturally you want to make that physical connection, but the Spirit quickly grabs you and reminds you to not walk down that path of thought any further. It’s up to you whether you do or not. Do it and you already committed to fornication. You must remain pure in thought as well.

Or Ladies, you and this guy are getting pretty serious and after a while, he starts to put the pressure on you to take it to that next level. So you give in and let him have what he wants only to wind up feeling lower than dung. So you beat yourself up constantly and give others what they want so you can seal in the space that only your ordained husband is supposed to fill.

This is nothing new and it has been going on in the church for centuries. But if my memory serves me correctly, the Lord will be looking for a church without spot or wrinkle. We can’t bleach out sin on our own. We need Jesus to do that for us. But in the meanwhile we need to attract others to want to join this spiritual brotherhood because if we’re doing the same thing that they are doing, we couldn’t possibly stand out.

Now, I’m not saying don’t date because that would be a bit hypocritical of me. My wife and I dated before we got married, although, we didn’t really look at it like dating because we were preparing to spend the rest of our lives together. However, everyone is not ready for such a commitment, even though many think they are. Some will simply settle for dating relationships.

The point of a dating relationship is for two individuals to enter a more intimate understanding each other. Like previously mentioned, this is natural for humans because we seek to connect. However, the enemy can take this and persuade us to make some decisions that will put a strain on you and your future spouse’s relationship and your relationship with the Lord.

We are to give God the glory in all things, including your relationship with others, boyfriend or girlfriend, wife or husband, parent or child.

More important than the relationship you have with others is the relationship you have with the Lord. You need to have a loving relationship with the Lord before you enter a loving relationship with someone of the opposite sex who isn’t your relative. Who better to instruct on how to love others than the embodiment of the concept itself.

The thing that is missing from a lot of the dating relationships we see is love. There may be a strong liking for each other, but let the test and trials of life come blowing through, and will they last? Not saying that you won’t have problems with Christ at the center of your relationships, but you need him to help you get through those situations without you two causing more issues by being disobedient to the Word.

To sum it all up, make Jesus your boo before you go all mushy on someone else. Remember, he’s a jealous God. But also remember, his love will never fail you.