Nothing is more puzzling than trying figure out why people do what they do. However, it is my belief and opinion that we do many of the things we do because we seek completion. For whatever reason, we do not know real fulfillment, no matter how many cars we own, no matter how big our houses are, no matter how many people we sleep with, no matter how many substances we introduce into our bloodstream. It still doesn't work.
So we turn to companionship. We start the search for our "soul mate," that very special person who is supposed to come into your life and make you feel whole, that person you are suppose to live your "happily ever after" with. They will bring satisfaction unlike any you have ever had in your life.
We spread our feathers so that we can catch someone's eye. Maybe after a word or two, you two decide to carry on the conversation. The conversation leads to an exchanging of numbers. An exchanging of numbers leads to phone conversations. Phone conversations lead to that counterfeit intimacy known as dating.
I may sound bitter about dating to you, but understand, I don't hate dating. I just think that dating is typically done improperly. Even I'm guilty of that. Dating doesn't give you the type of revelation that marriage does. With dating, you put your best face forward. You don't want the other person to know the real you for the fear that they may not like the real you and they will move onto someone else.
We humans do the strangest things when we become afraid. (Let it marinate.)
One of the main reasons people date is so that they can get a good idea of what's out there. They want to see if there is someone out there that matches the qualifications of their ideal mate. Problem. Often times we want what is going to bring us satisfaction. It's the pleasure principle; we try to avoid pain at all costs. What do we need God for if we are going to tell him who he should pair us with?
It is my belief that God, when he wills to, pairs us with someone who is going to challenge us to love to the point of risking our own satisfaction. Many times, the things we think will make us happier we often don't need. When we date, we feed the notion that people were created to bring us satisfaction. We miss the point of the design.
I think it's evident that humans weren't created to fulfill each other. We are trying to stuff carnal beings into a God-sized hole in our hearts. We put the pressure on individuals to fill God's shoes and to bring us the type of peace and joy that only he can provide. Dating isn't the only place that this happens, but it's one of the biggest and it often times leads to negative outcomes such as physical, emotional, and substance abuse, unplanned pregnancy, sexually transmitted diseases, murder, promiscuity, and the list goes on.
I know some of my brothers and sisters out there are already in relationships or wish to be in relationships with the intent of marriage. I'm not condemning this. However, it's more difficult for believers to date because of society pressuring us to be hedonistic and find pleasure in the things we do. There's also the risk of catching the suspicious looks from believers and non-believers alike for entering into romantic relationships. We get scrutiny from all angles.
At the heart of it, I believe we need to question ourselves when we do things. If we are honest with ourselves, I think that some of the bad decisions we make can be avoided. Use Godly knowledge and wisdom to navigate your walk in the wilderness of human relationships. A heart is a terrible thing to waste, especially when there is a God who wants live in it permanently.
