How Do You Look Under Your Clothes?

There’s a television show named “The Millionaire Matchmaker” which airs on the Bravo Channel. The show follows Patti Stanger who is a famous matchmaker who hooks up millionaire men with women who will feed their fancy. Naturally, these men have a hard time finding women on their own because they fear that women only want them for their money. Understandable.

Thousands of women send in applications to be selected by Stanger for an opportunity to attend a mixer where the millionaire men (2 are always present) will ultimately pick who they want to go on a date with. Once the applicants are selected, they meet Stanger at her headquarters in Beverly Hills, CA where she and her team of matchmakers select who they think should attend the mixer.

Once the women have been selected, Stanger makes strong suggestions as to how those women should present themselves at the mixer in order to draw those millionaire men in their direction. Some take the advice and run with it. Others kind of blow it off and continue to do what hasn’t worked for them in the past. Usually, these women are very concerned about their appearance and they want to be as attractive as possible so that the men will notice them over all the other women.

At the mixer, Stanger introduces the men and looses them into the sea of bachelorettes. Some of the women make good impressions; others sort of leave a bad taste in the millionaires’ mouths. Naturally, the men gravitate towards the women who fit their profile of an attractive woman and sometimes Stanger points them in the direction of women who she thinks will fit their “type.”

At the end of the mixer, Stanger allows the men to select the girl that they want to date the most. The women who made good connections, who were sexy and sophisticated at the same time, who gave off good vibes, usually get picked. All of the other women essentially toiled in vain, polished themselves to look like these men’s fantasies, only to be rejected. Such a shame.

I believe that this same thing occurs in lives of many women, single women mostly, or simply women who wish to gain the attention of some man. They wash their body with Bath & Body Works™, they shampoo their hair with Herbal Essence™, they straighten their eyelashes with L’Oreal™ mascara, they cake on Bare Escentuals™, they fill out their lips with Maybelline™ lipstick, all because they want some cat to notice them. Cool.

Then I started to think about my love relationship with the Lord and how I can make myself more attractive to him. For those who wish to catch the Lord’s eye, the Bible is your Vogue™ Magazine and the models you should pay attention to are the people who despite their many flaws and imperfections, chased after his heart. Without condition, they glorified him despite their situation and they made his agenda their top priority.

I believe that many times we want to paint our lives and cover up the blemishes that the Lord would find unattractive. You can wear Prada boots, 30 carat diamonds, make an honest living, volunteer for community service, and go to church every Sunday of the year, but if you aren’t being fruitful in the Spirit, how attractive do you think you are going to be to the Lord underneath it all. You should ask yourself, “How good do I look to the Lord?” Under all of my clothes, under my job, under my degrees, under everything else that people hide behind because we think we can give the Lord the appearance of the bride that he desires, but not the whole thing.

How will you catch the Lord’s eye?

Love to Love Ya, Baby

First of all, this blog is months old and yet this is the first entry. A lot has been going on and I had to gain the perseverance to go ahead and get this started up. My goal is to submit one post at least once every two weeks or more if the Lord leads.

I am I going to keep it real, like the title suggests. For those of you who already know me, you know I can be brutally honest. My intentions are not to step on your toes if I do, but sometimes people need to dig the crud out of their eyes, not excluding me.

In this journey called life, I have come to some realizations through my faith and my growth as an individual. I feel like I owe it to everyone else to release that which I have gathered based on my experiences.

I do not intend to start off with a bio; that can come later. Right now, I want to talk about intimate relationships.

Intimate relationships are important to us as humans because we were created that way. We need to connect with others and feel like we are special to someone else. This is why pharmaceutical companies have been getting fat off of selling anti-depressants. People are depressed because something hinders them from connecting with others. Things such as anxiety, feelings of inadequacy, or dissatisfaction with the quality of life drive these individuals into this type of misery.

So we need to connect. I am connecting with you right now. We need to connect because I have a message for you about dating, one of the most popular venues for human connection.

To my single brothers and sisters in Christ:

I understand you all love the Lord, but you all also anticipate personally witnessing the gift of matrimony. I know this because I have seen it a lot recently. I was in your position, hoping to find my God-given spouse and consummate our marriage before Jesus decided to crack the sky. Even my little brother is going through this phase now (Don’t they grow up so quickly?).

Sex, in the correct context is good, but desire also drives us to make some unwise decisions. For instance, Fellas, you see some dimepiece at the mall with your boys. You automatically think to yourself, “What can I do to get with her?” Naturally you want to make that physical connection, but the Spirit quickly grabs you and reminds you to not walk down that path of thought any further. It’s up to you whether you do or not. Do it and you already committed to fornication. You must remain pure in thought as well.

Or Ladies, you and this guy are getting pretty serious and after a while, he starts to put the pressure on you to take it to that next level. So you give in and let him have what he wants only to wind up feeling lower than dung. So you beat yourself up constantly and give others what they want so you can seal in the space that only your ordained husband is supposed to fill.

This is nothing new and it has been going on in the church for centuries. But if my memory serves me correctly, the Lord will be looking for a church without spot or wrinkle. We can’t bleach out sin on our own. We need Jesus to do that for us. But in the meanwhile we need to attract others to want to join this spiritual brotherhood because if we’re doing the same thing that they are doing, we couldn’t possibly stand out.

Now, I’m not saying don’t date because that would be a bit hypocritical of me. My wife and I dated before we got married, although, we didn’t really look at it like dating because we were preparing to spend the rest of our lives together. However, everyone is not ready for such a commitment, even though many think they are. Some will simply settle for dating relationships.

The point of a dating relationship is for two individuals to enter a more intimate understanding each other. Like previously mentioned, this is natural for humans because we seek to connect. However, the enemy can take this and persuade us to make some decisions that will put a strain on you and your future spouse’s relationship and your relationship with the Lord.

We are to give God the glory in all things, including your relationship with others, boyfriend or girlfriend, wife or husband, parent or child.

More important than the relationship you have with others is the relationship you have with the Lord. You need to have a loving relationship with the Lord before you enter a loving relationship with someone of the opposite sex who isn’t your relative. Who better to instruct on how to love others than the embodiment of the concept itself.

The thing that is missing from a lot of the dating relationships we see is love. There may be a strong liking for each other, but let the test and trials of life come blowing through, and will they last? Not saying that you won’t have problems with Christ at the center of your relationships, but you need him to help you get through those situations without you two causing more issues by being disobedient to the Word.

To sum it all up, make Jesus your boo before you go all mushy on someone else. Remember, he’s a jealous God. But also remember, his love will never fail you.